Score from the 1st Inning: Senators 0, Gridlockers 0

SECOND INNING

The second inning began with the scoreboard scrolling the news that the House of Representatives had passed their own version of a healthcare bill which would meet up with its Senate counterpart in a conference committee. There was rousing applause from the fans appreciating the ‘git ‘er done’ attitude the legislature was embracing.

The Gridlockers came up to bat trying to get something going, but this team of malcontents couldn’t quite keep their eye on the ball – the only thing sparking their interest seemed to be hyper-partisanship and quarrelsome smugness.  The mild-mannered Paul Gazelka (R-Nisswa) got Chopper Green and Slowan Downe to hit ground balls back to the mound which he fielded cleanly, and the reliable first baseman, Jeremy Miller (R-Winona), recorded the putouts.  After Willie Fly popped out to roving Roger Chamberlain (R-Lino Lakes) in short right field, the home team came to bat.

Chamberlain analyzed the taxing delivery of Slick Lefty and slapped an outside pitch down the right field line for a solid double.  Sliding safely into second base he pump-fisted his pleasure knowing that the conformity tax bill was now law. The athletic Eric Pratt (R-Prior Lake) stepped up to the plate and announced to the chief umpire Michelle Fischbach (R-Paynesville) that serious work had begun on the Real ID bill. He promptly recognized a real fast ball down the pipe and slammed a line-drive double off the leftfield wall, scoring Chamberlain.  As Pratt amiably chatted with the Gridlockers shortstop about the upcoming selection of the University of Minnesota regents, Lefty threw a wild piece of fake news past his catcher, Righty Rude, allowing the quick-footed Pratt to sprint to third.

The versatile utility man, Dr. Matt Klein (DFL-Mendota Heights), pinch-hit for Dave Osmek (R-Mound), who had been called away on personal family business.  Klein, with a soft-spoken and solemn approach, delivered by hitting a deep fly to the center field warning track allowing Pratt to tag up and score.

Michelle Benson (R-Ham Lake) faced off against the tricky Lefty and blasted a huge HOMERUN over the centerfield fence.  As she rounded the bases her tenacity and determination were evident as her emergency healthcare bill composed of relief, reform, and enhanced patient access received bipartisan support.  The Governor’s signature gave witness to a new day as both sides of the aisle demonstrated a resolve to lead and govern.  The fans cheered enthusiastically, and Benson doffed her cap out of deference to the conference committee’s commitment to work for Minnesotans.

That would have been the end of the fireworks for the second inning, but an unexpected medical emergency occurred during Governor Dayton’s State of the State address when he fainted. Thankfully prayers were answered and Minnesotans celebrated his quick recovery with a sigh of relief.  The media generously recognized Senators Matt Klein and Scott Jensen for their quick response to the Governor’s needs, but a mere twelve hours later Governor Dayton announced that he had just recently been diagnosed with prostate cancer and had another battle to fight.  He reminded Minnesotans to not underestimate him – he would do battle against this malignant demon and was up to the challenge.

Hopefully Governor Dayton will feel the love from all directions in the third inning as Valentine’s Day approaches.

Play-by-play provided by Senator Scott Jensen